Journey's End Letter Home, by Lorena

12th June 1918

My beloved Emile,
I write to inform you that this could be the last letter you receive from me.
In a few hours I’m about to go there into No Man’s Land to fight against those bloody dam Germans good for nothing. I was picked to do it, to start the raid, along with the newest integrant of the team. He’s name is Raleigh. He is a good innocent and intelligent guy, I really like him but I’m not sure if he should go with me; orders are orders and I can’t disobey, but the problem is his inexperience, he’s not prepared enough for doing this, but there needs to be a reason for why he was picked.

I don’t really know how to feel: I feel really scared I don’t want to die. Not this way. Not shoot by the enemy. I really prefer to die from some kind of illness, even if its painful and unbearable, I still prefer it; but I’m quite sure everything is going to go out well. I’m hopeful that I will survive this raid. Since the day I have been informed that I am in charge of starting it, that was about two days ago, along with the new kid, Raleigh, I’ve been praying. In case anything goes wrong in a few hours, I want you to resist; I know its difficult being so many years together sharing our love, sharing a family, but someday, somehow it would have come. I don’t want to admit it, but everybody’s life ends at some point. How I wish it was different. Look after yourself, Benjamin, Lilly and Caroline, our lovely and beautiful kids.

I want to go back home with you and the kids. Even though I wish this, I can’t disappoint my battalion, especially Stanhope. I’m in doubt with him. He is such a good friend; I really appreciate the moments we’ve spent together in this hell. At least I’m not alone, not by having him by my side. We support each other. War is pointless but I don’t want to give up now, especially not when my entire troop that has given everything. We all have given everything and made our best, we’ve put so much effort in this warfare, but it’s not worth it; not war being the reason.

I wish I could have you in my arms again. See Lilly and Caroline practice ballet and see Benjamin play Fur Elise in the piano. Has he learned any other yet? How I wish to see him, and the girls. I want to read them all Alice in Wonderland. I want to see them grow up healthy and happy; my desire is that we were all together, sitting in the dining room, eating the delicious meal you prepare for us every Sunday evening and see my family. Let me tell you I have been thinking of you all the time, about the love we have, give and get. You are the best thing that could ever happen to me, really, you are my life, I don’t know what I would be if we haven’t met in that cafeteria Emile, just imagine. Our lives would be so different. Who’s life wouldn’t be different if he or she had taken another decision? Go that way or the other? Teach history or remain unemployed? Break up with him/her or marry? Kill Archduke Franz Ferdinand or not? Just imagine how different it would be if that person who decided to kill him thought the opposite, think it twice, regret at the correct minute and avoid the consequences. War. How different, just imagine... but what happened, happened and we can’t go back in time; how I wish we could, but that is the rule.

Emile, do you remember that gold ring we got the day of our wedding? That is a nonsense question, how could you not remember it? I am going to remove it, for the first time, and leave it in the table. I’m putting Stanhope in charge of it in case I die, so you can receive it safely; as you already know he is the one I trust, I would do the same for him. He is my friend, my good friend.


All my loving,
Osborne

PS: Emile, Benjamin, Lilly, Caroline, I love you four, remember that.